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User blog:Akira Starfall/. . . . I'm probably going to delete this
I went to Five Guys instead of taekwondo yesterday Because what's the point anymore It's too late for me to even have a chance at making it to the Olympics There's a senior at my high school who's going straight to the Olympic Training Center after he graduates, and he was nationally recognized for taekwondo stuff when he was like I don't know Younger than me Much younger than me And Ahmad Abughaush was on the national team when he was 14 Which is also Younger than me He won gold at Rio He beat Lee Dae-hoon Which is impossible because Dae-hoon is a god But he did Ahmad is a god They're both gods On the other hand, I am not a god Heck I can't even spar without having an emotional breakdown, and I'm terrible anyway. I go to class every day and I think I'm getting worse every time I spar instead of better. . . . and I don't deserve my black belt At all . . . and I'm a terrible instructor . . . and all I do is have emotional breakdowns, all I do is give up and cry How is THAT worthy of a black belt? All I'm good at is giving up on my dreams, giving up on everything I should just quit, Instructor Rob hates me anyway, at least I think he does, maybe not, but he ignores me a lot, really I'm just mad at him right now, he's spiffy, ignore this sentence But Instructor Jeremy loves me and I love him too and that's why I can't quit, he's my friend And I like training here, I just don't like being hated and being left out and not being listened to and being ignored and not taken seriously I like training with Jeremy just not with them The school is fine, the staff members are great (excluding one assistant instructor who I do not get along with and never have), it's the other interns I don't like A few of them are all right I'm friends with one of them, and there's another one I talk to sometimes But for the most part, they ignore me and don't listen to me and don't take me seriously and some of them hate me . . . I get that this school has been around for forever But can the other interns be a little more accepting? I feel so lonely and left out I can't even explain it God if I didn't have Jeremy this would be so much worse . . . TopKick is great and I love it, always have, but the interns at this specific location are the worst They're not mean, necessarily. They just ignore me and they don't ever care about anything I say and that hurts a lot . . . . . . I have to get ready for class, but should I even go? SHE'S there today, the assistant instructor who hates me (right back at you, sister) . . . UGHHH I DON'T WANT TO PUT UP WITH HER TODAY Category:Blog posts